ICHABOD CRANE
MEN
WHO'S THAT COMING DOWN THE STREET,
CANE IN HAND, TWO LEFT FEET? SKINNY AS CAN BE,
WHAT A SIGHT TO SEE!
LADIES
HE'S THE NEW SCHOOLMASTER AND HE GOES BY THE NAME
OF…
ALL
ICHABOD, ICHABOD CRANE!
ICHABOD CRANE, IT'S A FUNNY SORT OF NAME!
KRAUS
HE'S AN ODD LOOKING CHAP!
MARTHA
HE'S A PRESENT I'D UNWRAP!
ICHABOD
(Kissing MARTHA's hand)
Hello.
ALL
THAT'S ICHABOD, ICHABOD CRANE!
ICHABOD
GOOD DAY, GOOD SIR, CAN YOU POINT ME DOWN TO THE
LITTLE SCHOOLHOUSE ON THE EDGE OF TOWN?
KRAUS
RIGHT DOWN THAT ROAD. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
ALL
ICHABOD, ICHABOD CRANE!
OTTO
HE WALKS ABOUT WITH A WANDERING EYE.
PETER
IT'S TIME TO SOUND THE BATTLE CRY!
HANS
HE'S NOT LIKE THE REST OF US.
GERTRUDE
WHAT'S HIS NAME?
ALL
ICHABOD, ICHABOD CRANE! ICHABOD CRANE, IT'S A FUNNY
SORT OF NAME!
OTTO
HE'S A BUGBEAR IN DISGUISE!
MARTHA
BUT OH, THOSE DREAMY EYES!
ALL
HI, ICHABOD, ICHABOD CRANE!
KATRINA
OH, I'LL NEVER MAKE IT HOME WITH SUCH A BOX. IT'S AS HEAVY AND AS AWKWARD
AS A BARREL FULL OF ROCKS.
AS I PULL AND TUG, IT JUST WON'T BUDGE AN INCH, BUT IF I HAD A KIND ASSISTANT, THE JOB WOULD BE A CINCH!
IT'S SO NICE TO SEE YOU, GENTLEMEN.
MEN
IT'S NICE TO BE HERE, KATRINA!
KATRINA
SUCH A LOVELY DAY FOR A WALK.
MEN
WE LOVE TO WATCH YOU WALK, KATRINA!
KATRINA
Come on, boys!
BOYS
Coming, Katrina! / Me first. / No, me. I'm the one she's calling! / I'm
carrying the most!
BALTUS
Gretchen, I can't see! Gretchen darling, where are you? Katrina?
WHERE IS OUR DAUGHTER?
GRETCHEN
SHE'S DOING FINE.
BALTUS
Ahh! SHE'S STANDING IN THE SQUARE WITH EVERY
BOY IN TOWN IN LINE!
GRETCHEN
Oh Baltus, let her be!
BALTUS
SHE'S GOING TO MISLEAD THEM ALL, AND
THEN WE'LL HAVE TO FEED THEM ALL,
LEAVING ALL THOSE BOYS TO WEEP AND PINE!
EZEKIEL
Brom! Help!
BROM
What do you think, Zeke? Should this be the day I ask Katrina to be my
wife?
EZEKIEL
It should be... but will it? Brom, lend me a hand.
BROM
MOVE OVER BOYS, THAT LOVELY GIRL IS MINE.
ICHABOD
HER BEAUTY IS THE ONLY THING I SEE.
BROM
WE'LL HAVE TO SET A DATE TO WED.
EZEKIEL
BY THAT TIME, WE COULD ALL BE DEAD.
BROM
SHE'LL NEVER MARRY ANYONE BUT ME.
THELMA & HELGA
THERE HE GOES WITH HIS HEAD HELD HIGH!
GERTRUDE
GOODNESS, GRACIOUS, WHAT A GUY!
THELMA
THERE HE GOES... OH, WHAT'S HIS NAME?
ALL
ICHABOD, ICHABOD CRANE! ICHABOD CRANE, IT'S A FUNNY SORT OF NAME!
HE'S AN ODD LOOKING FELLOW! HE'S A STARTLING APPARITION!
WITH A VOICE SO RICH AND MELLOW! HE'S A WELCOME ADDITION! HE'S NOT LIKE THE REST OF US!
HANS
What's his name?
ALL
ICHABOD, ICHABOD, ICHABOD, ICHABOD, ICHABOD,
ICHABOD CRANE!